Whose ass is on the Assbrella? Is the person famous?
While we were sworn to secrecy regarding the person behind the ass, we were allowed to reveal three key facts.
- The ass lives in Hollywood.
- The ass may or may not be the star of a 2007 feature film.
- The ass is not Barack Obama's (but supports change).
Will you be coming out with other types of assbrellas, or is it just this one?
Why eat a hamburger when you can have steak?
This being the case, we are an equal opportunity Assbrella provider, and thus hope to come out with asses of all genders and ethnicities. This probably won't happen for a while and only if sales go extremely well. You can be alerted to updates like these by subscribing to the RSS feed of our blog.
I think Assbrellas would be great for a Fraternity fundraiser. Do you do bulk discounts?
For sure. And you don't have to be part of a frat to get a bulk rate. Fill out the contact form with the details of the order, and we'll get back to you ASAP with our price and shipping details.
Can I find Assbrellas in any stores?
Unfortuntely, no, at least not yet. You'll have to buy them right here. If you are a storeowner and want to carry Assbrellas, fill out the contact from with the details and we'll get back to you ASAP with our price and shipping details.
I bought an Assbrella, but for some unfathomable reason am unsatisfied. What is your return policy?
If for any reason you need to return your Assbrella, fill out our contact form with the problem and your contact information. We'll refund you the full cost minus shipping.
How are Assbrellas shipped?
Assbrellas are packed in a box or tube and shipped via USPS. It shouldn't take more than 3-5 business days. Shipping is at cost, and can change from time to time depending on our packing materials. It shouldn't cost you more than 5 or 6 bucks.
Do you ship outside of the US?
Why of course! Fill out the contact form with your location and the number of assbrellas (or should we say arsebrellas?) and we'll get back to you with the shipping rate.
Where did the idea for Assbrellas come from?
The idea did not come from any specific inspiration or ass. It was born naturally like the wheel or sliced bread. The need for it suddenly became obvious.
What do I do if people on the street ask me why my umbrella has a fortune cookie on it?
Tell them, "it's not a fortune cookie, it's an ass."
You guys are totally insane, but quite possibly geniuses.
That's not a question, but thank you.